Once upon a time, in the hallowed halls of a kingdom known as the Ivy League, a queen dwelt in a high tower, endlessly pondering the mysteries of the universe. She would gaze into her mirror, asking, "Who is the cleverest and most renowned of all?" Though the mirror would always answer, "You, my queen," she thirsted for more knowledge, her curiosity as insatiable as a parched summer field.
One fateful day, she summoned a mighty magician, known far and wide as "the Statistician." Her request? To analyze a set of data regarding the predictive factors of a famous psychopathology. Armed with his powerful statistical algorithms, the magician delved deep into the vast sea of data.
After countless hours of number-crunching, he emerged with a proclamation: "Factor A, my queen, is responsible for the effect. All signs show that Factor B has no influence." But this was not what the queen wished to hear. "My theory focuses on Factor B! This cannot be!" she cried.
So, the queen commanded the magician to craft a composite score of Factors A and B and try again. The magician tried to reason, explaining that a composite measure is only as good as the measures it comprises and if it were to predict, it would still be A, not B. But the queen silenced him, ordering him to proceed.
And thus, with a heavy heart, the magician cast his spell. Lo and behold, a paper emerged, highly cited, proclaiming that the composite score of Factors A, and especially B, predict the psychopathology. Just as the queen had wished. The kingdom erupted in celebration, "Hooray for the queen! Down with inconvenient truths!"
But as the story spread far and wide, a bitter undertone tainted its triumphant chorus. For within the fairy-tale success of the queen and her theory, there lay a shadow of deceit. The truth had been obscured, manipulated to fit a preconceived narrative, and in doing so, the integrity of the search for knowledge was compromised.
Oh, by the way, the queen still reigns high, spreading her partly true theories across all the land. She teaches the little fellows 'truths' about their lives, but these truths, alas, are often no more than white lies, half-truths crafted to maintain her rule. So let this tale be a reminder: in the relentless pursuit of truth, do not be swayed by those who would obscure it for their own ends. Seek the truth, cherish the truth, and let it be your guiding light, always.
Yours truly,
The Statistician
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